Connections
by FaithinBones
Summary: it is the connections to others that give us a purpose in life. This is a story told from Brennan's point of view
This is for my friend Jazzyproz who is going through a rough patch right now.

A/N: this story is being told from Brennan's point of view.

I don't own Bones.

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When I was fifteen and I found myself cutoff from my family I assumed my life would be a solitary one. I learned that love was an illusion and in essence it gives you a sense of security that doesn't really exist. We go through this life alone and we will leave it that way.

I worked hard to be at the top of my field not because I was seeking fame or fortune. I did it because I'm brilliant and anything I do I do well. I am incapable of doing anything without giving it my best. That I achieved notoriety because I am brilliant was just a side effect that I hadn't truly counted on. Of course, I found it gratifying that I was sought out by my peers to work for or with them, but it didn't change the fact that I was alone and unwanted for who I am. People wanted to know me because of what I am. Truly that is a big difference and not appreciated by most people.

I never had a true friend until I met Angela. I had some friends when I was a preteen, but they disappeared from my life when my family threw me away. A bit melodramatic I suppose, but essentially the truth.

Angela was the first person to try to understand me. She overlooked my social awkwardness and encouraged me to participate in social situations. I have never been comfortable chatting with people since most of them didn't seem to have anything to say that was worth hearing. At the time, I didn't watch television and I didn't watch current movies. I loved to read and I really liked to watch old movies. They were simpler and yet intriguing to me. Angela tried to include me in outings at social clubs and I was her 'wing man'. I didn't think I was very good at it, but she did persevere for which I was grateful.

Then Booth came along and my world truly changed. He was brash, cocky and he didn't like to take no for an answer from anyone. We got off on the wrong foot and ended up fighting over something that was truly just a misunderstanding. We didn't see each other for almost a year and during that time, I wrote a book of fiction. I won't admit this to anyone else including Booth, but he influenced me in ways I had never thought were possible.

Booth was and is a warrior. I have met few alpha males like him. Most have a tendency to dominate those around him and Booth does that to a certain extent, but he also recognizes when someone is superior to him in certain fields and he will bow to that person's expertise if he needs to. That is actually uncommon and intriguing.

When I wrote my first book, I used my experience working on a case with Booth and used that to write a murder mystery that became a best seller. Angela helped me with some of the social dialog, but I wrote the story using my knowledge of forensics anthropology and what I had observed about Booth and his investigatory skills.

After it went on sale, Booth reentered my life. He used a ploy whereby he could rescue me from Homeland security. I saw through his scheme of course, but I was captivated that he would go through so much trouble to work with me again. Essentially he told me we are like oil and vinegar. Separate we are quite useful, but mixed together we have greater value. In fact being together makes us pretty tasty. (He was trying to be humorous.)

Booth does that all the time. He talks in metaphors and I have to struggle to understand him sometimes. Luckily he is willing to explain himself ad nauseam until I do understand. That is rare. Most people give up when I don't understand what they are talking about. I'm not sure why. If you wish someone to understand you and the point you are trying to make, shouldn't you explain further until your point is clarified?

That is not to say that Booth is not impatient because that would be misstating things. He is a very impatient person about somethings, but if I am having difficulty understanding the under currents of a conversation then he will explain it to me, if not then, then later. He is mostly impatient when it comes to Pop Culture references and he used to make pithy comments about my ignorance of those topics.

Those incidents of impatience started to lessen as we grew to know each other. I suppose he had made some assumptions about me and once they were proven wrong, he adjusted his attitude. Booth is fair or at least he tries to be. I had to make some adjustments too of which he was well aware. Like I mentioned before, Booth considers us similar to oil and vinegar and those have a tendency to separate if left to their own devices.

Booth is a person of action. The only time he isn't moving is when he's exhausted or asleep. If he isn't moving his body he is moving his hands. That always surprised me. Booth is a sniper. That was his specialty in the Army and in the FBI (until he became Head of Major Crimes) and you would surmise that meant he was quiet and still. He is far from those things and yet I have seen him work as a sniper and except for his voice asking for direction, he was rock still. An interesting dichotomy.

I think I have digressed from what I originally meant to talk about. I have a tendency to do that when I talk about Booth. He is a very interesting person and he constantly surprises me.

The biggest surprise of my life is when Booth fell in love with me. I found that hard to believe. I wasn't his type. Angela once told me that Booth had actually fallen for me because I am his type. Yes it is true that in the past he was drawn to blonde women of short or petite stature and I am neither, but Angela told me that was Booth's superficial type. His true type is very intelligent, independent women. His past lovers were all very intelligent women and very independent. Angela insists that the blond and petite frames were mere coincidence or perhaps what initially drew him since he loves eye candy like most people, but his need is to be with strong, intelligent women. He had no patience for women who are vacuous.

Again I have to apologize since I have digressed again. The point of this is that sometimes you don't see the value of your own life. When I was younger, before I met Booth I assumed that I would have a solitary life. I would neither touch anyone nor would anyone touch me. (Do not take that as literal as I have had many lovers. This was a metaphor)

I was certain that when I died I would have made little difference in the world and there would be no one to mourn my passing. Now I know that was a fallacy based on flawed data.

If you are in someone's life, whether or not it is with your parents, friends or a lover you have influenced those people in some way. Hopefully you have had a positive effect. It doesn't matter if you have had children or not as long as you have connected with someone.

I have connected with Booth. He loves me and through his efforts I reconnected with my father and brother. It is those kinds of connections that inform the world that you were here and that you mattered. It doesn't matter if what you have done with your life is world shaking or not. Most people are not world shakers and never can be. What matters is that you live a useful life. What matters is that you have formed connections with others.

Booth likes to point out that I have many connections. I have connected with the people that I work with. Some of them are my friends and some are mere colleagues, but we have all influenced each other in some way.

I am also a writer of mysteries and through my writing, I connect to those that are interested in fiction. That seems tenuous, but it is a connection none the less.

Some people want to experience new things and books of fiction allow them to do this. It connects them to worlds they would normally never see. These readers are enthusiastic and quite intelligent and they do appreciate the efforts authors go through to present something that partially educates and partially entertains. That is what connects them to me and me to them.

Contrary to my past expectations, I am also connected to Booth by my love for him. Again that was not something I ever considered would happen. At first we were friends which I found to be the most important connection of all. When you have few friends like I do then the ones you do have are of great value.

Eventually our friendship grew into love. Not Eros which is sexual but philia which is the love you have of friends. Booth and I went through a lot trials and tribulation before our philia love turned to agape which is unconditional love.

I talked to Booth about this once and he said that what we have is pragma love, long standing love. He can be very romantic. We have only been living together for two months, but he considers our love to be never ending.

As you can see it is the connections to others that give us a purpose in life. It is those connections that shows the world that we are here and in the end it those connections that allow us to have mourners when our lives are over.

You all matter. You all make a difference in this world and the world will mourn your passing someday. It may not be a splashy passing and or an event like a head of state of a pop star, but your passing will be noted and that is because of the connections you have made. All lives matter.

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Let me know what you think of it, reviews are always welcome.

Jazzy I hope this made sense.


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